The “see”food diet

So lately I’ve been working a ton of hours, for instance today I arrived at the office at 7:30 with my workout bag, fully expecting to escape during the day to make up for my missed swim this morning, fully knowing that this will never happen. It is now 12:30 in the morning the next day and I’m still here, writing my blog mind you. But still you get the picture.  When I’m sitting at the desk, doing boring office work all day, I find solace in food. I can’t even look at facebook because I don’t want to see how much fun everyone is having and what workouts they have done. (Ya know when I’m not looking at FB its bad!)  So not only do I NOT workout but I am also gorging. To top it all off I get so busy I don’t test my sugar.  3x today, each time it was in the 240’s.  When I say work is killing me I really mean it!

Anyway I’m not going to bitch and moan about my sucky job but here is the thing. On occasion we have lunch meetings, today was such a day.  They ordered food in.  A few things I think of when they do this.  1. I bet they don’t have anything healthy or diabetic friendly 2. I can’t believe I spent time this morning packing my roasted chicken and sweet potatoes. 3. I can’t wait to see what yummy food they have.  A contradiction of course but the inner foody always comes out when the food is spread out buffet style.  It turns out they had: build your own sandwiches, fresh salads and of course massive cookies.  I tend to over indulge at buffet’s as much as I fake myself into thinking I won’t go back for seconds, I know I will, not because I’m hungry but because it’s there.  It’s like an open bag of doritos – no matter how much you fold it up nicely and put the clip back on – you keep going back for more.  Because they are calling your name.  Gillian, gillian… eat me.  Am I the only one with the issue of Doritos talking to you?  After the main course and after the meeting was over I peered over and saw that the plate of gigantic cookies was still there.  Oh, I thought I will just go over and grab one for my office mate,  I sidled over only to see that these cookies have massive chunks of chocolate in them and they were oozing with everything terrible but good at the same time.  I quickly grab two and put them on a plate and bring them to my office.  I give the one to my office mate and leave the other one sitting on the plate. Well, that lasted about perhaps 5 minutes because it too called my name and begged me to eat it. Nasty!  Since I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and down in the dumps from working eating it gave me some temporary joy.  Of course I bolused about 60 grams of carbs,  not even enough.  The “temporaryness” of the satisfaction really is that, in fact, the joy then turns to sorrow is 10 fold because you are still sitting at your desk; you still haven’t worked out; you’ve now eaten a 5000 calorie cookie; and your sugar is high. Yay!


About Gillian

I am a type 1 diabetic diagnosed at the age of 30. I run marathons, participate in bike races , ironman triathlons and everything in between.
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